Oh, how you broke my heart tonight. Caleb had basketball practice at the Y tonight so you, Audrey, Seth and Asher went to the childcare area while Emma and Luke ran with me. It was crazy in there, and honestly I wanted to turn around and run for the door, but after seeing how many workers they had I decided to try it.
40 minutes later I came and picked you up and everything seemed well. When we got home you casually mentioned that you didn't make any friends but Audrey made a friend. I could tell you were sad and a little jealous of how easily Audg makes friends. (For the record, what Audg did is find a much older girl and talked her into giving her her phone and wallet. Then she somehow convinced the girl to log her into the computer so she could play games. We don't call that a friend we call that a victim!)
You went on to tell me how you wanted to play with someone and how you had asked a few people to play with you. Which is a HUGE step! I'm so proud of you! But no one wanted to play. Later someone found out you were 6 and they moved you into the 6-12 year old section of the room. A girl there pushed you and was mean to you. You told me you wanted me. You told me "tears were running down" your face, but the teachers didn't see.
How it broke my heart (and made me fighting mad!) to hear how your afternoon went. And it kills me to think that you didn't think you had a voice. You are no longer a little girl that has no say! You are my daughter and with that comes the right to say "NO MORE! Go get my Mommy!"
But God did something beautiful! First, you didn't rage or show any signs of being triggered at all...you TALKED! Hallelujah!!!!! You talked it out! That is a BIG HUGE stinkin' deal!!! Second, I got to hold you and take your precious little face in my hands and tell you that I have been praying for years for a special friend just for you. A little girl that you can share your heart with (and give all your toys away to- cause that's how you roll). You are one of the sweetest most generous hearts I have ever known. You will make a fantastic friend to some very lucky little girl! We just need to keep on praying for her.
But tonight I am so proud of you. Sad that I put you in a situation that you didn't feel safe. But so amazingly grateful that I'm the one you tell your fears to. I'm the one you want to hold you tight and pray over you. I've waited so long to be the one:)
You are one of the richest blessings of my life!