Instead of being met by a bugged eyed cashier at the sight of my bulging cart and sea of children surrounding it. I would be greeted with a pom pom waving cheerleader (but not too pretty), chanting encouragement and enthusiastically handing out stickers to my children.
I would then push my 587 lb cart toward the door, where staff members would line up on either side cheering and smiling as I ran my cart through a paper sign that said "YOU DID IT!!!!" My kids would wave and smile as they strolled single filled toward the van.
Once each child was safely buckled up, I would be led to a podium in which I would be awarded a gold medal for my persistence!
(from 2010. Yep, that is Seth not Asher)
Oh, but my dream doesn't end there!
Once home, I pull up my van in the driveway, open the garage door as the Extreme home makeover team comes bounding out of my garage! Ty comes out waving his megaphone, yelling for all the children to go to the back yard where staff is ready to lead them in a high intensity game of kickball. Another team member would usher me up to room and lead me to my tub where a bubble bath would be waiting for me with Sister Hazel playing softly in the background. Meanwhile more team members are unloading the van, starting dinner, feeding the baby and changing the toddler; smiling and laughing all the while.
This is honestly what gets me through a grocery trip. True story!