Saturday, May 19, 2012

Common question: "Are you done yet?"


OK guys.
So I've kinda been avoiding you.
Sorry about that.
I just wasn't real clear yet what the answer to this very common question was.

"So, are you done having kids?!"

In short.  The answer is "no."
I think there is another Richardson on it's way (not right now!)
But I don't know if it is a biologic child or another adoptive child (or maybe foster children).
It usually happens like this...
I'm setting out plates for dinner and I look around and someone is missing.
I go through the roll call and count heads and everyone is here but it just seems like someone is missing.

"God sets the lonely in families..."  Psalm 68:6

BUT with that being said.
I really really really don't want to be pregnant right now.
I felt terribly guilty about that for, well... for about 6 months.
It isn't so much that I don't want a baby, I just don't want to be pregnant.
I've been pregnant A LOT!! (see this post)
And I really want to ride bikes with my kids, boogie board at the beach, paint my own toe nails...
you know, the important things in life:)
Jim confirmed all this with his concern being my health.

I really struggled with this.
 Is this my selfish flesh?
Is this God putting a desire in my heart?
The question I kept coming back to is...what is God's desire for our family?

While I was struggling and praying over this He brought some interesting things in my path...
I had 2 women I love and respect, broken and tearfully tell me how they wish they hadn't taken matters into their own hands...either choosing birth control out of fear, or having a procedure to permanently prevent pregnancy.

I also couldn't help but catch my breath as I watched Seth and Asher play together as God softly whispered in my ear that "children are a gift."
Society seems to look at them as inconvenient as our culture becomes more and more self-centered.

I also couldn't think of one single person who has ever said "man, I really wish we hadn't had that last one!  He just really sent me over the edge!"
Seriously, have you ever heard anyone say that?!

I am at peace and excited about not being pregnant right now or in the very near future.
But I'm also content knowing that we have given God room to change our plans if this is not His plan.

I would love to hear how God spoke (or is speaking) to you about this very personal issue!

1 comment:

Morgan said...

At the conference I was just at, a guy spoke about the story of how he and his wife found out they were pregnant with their third child. It was kind of an inconvenient time for them, and they weren't looking to have more children. But when he came home and his bedroom light was on (he's a campus pastor and gets home late - she's always asleep when he gets home) he knew she was pregnant. And he walked into the room and heard God say to him "this is my gift to you." they named their son Nathaniel - which means "gift of God." thought it was cute :) miss you, love you!