Thursday, August 11, 2011

When Emma ain't happy ain't nobody happy!

Have you met my Emma G?
She is a warm kiss of sunshine on a cold dark day!
She is shy, and oh so tender hearted!
She often messes up my natural consequences with her siblings. I will say "no snack because you didn't finish your lunch." And I will look over and Emma is not only sharing her snack but giving the entire thing away to them!!!
She is often found coloring pictures for her brothers and sisters.
And EVERY time she goes with me to the grocery store she takes her savings and buys them all something.

I adore her!
She is so kind I find myself wanting to be more like her!
So you can imagine my shock when I came home and Jim told me that she was stirring up trouble at the dinner table Sunday.
Emma rarely stirs up trouble...she will return trouble (sometimes double fold).
Apparently she told G and A that they did not come out of mommy's belly (they know that).
And that SHE was the ONLY girl who had EVER come out of mommy's belly!
WHOA!!! Huge red flags waving!!!
What is going on?!

The next day she crawled in bed with me and cuddled up to me and said with a laugh, "I wish it was only you, me, daddy, Seth, Caleb, and Luke."
My heart sunk!
I was so so sad for everyone!
Sad for the girls...
But very sad for little Em.
I had missed her!
I missed the warning signs!
And now she was about to crash hard...she felt completely unloved!
How could I not have seen it?
She has been the target of a lot of anger too.
Part of the girl's attachment junk is that they want to control or get the biggest
reaction from someone (another form of control which equals safety to them).
And who better to get a rise out of then the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve?

I tried my best to get her to talk about it, but she was a pile of giggles...I think to cover the shame she must have felt in feeling that way.
In the end I told her it was OK to feel that way but that we need to pray for her heart to turn toward her sisters and that she would be able to be kind even when she didn't feel like it.
(I had NO IDEA what I was doing!!!)

I realized she was SCREAMING for some alone time!
She needed to hear she was special.
That she was adored!
That she hadn't been lost in the crowd.

So we broke out the bubble bath and the nail polish.
We took crazy pictures and we read Purplicious!
If she was a little older we would have laid in bed and watched Steel Magnolias together!

Because that's what girls do when we are in a funk!
Trust me, that one IS in the book!

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