5 years ago today I packed up my 18 month old and drove downtown to my 36 week appointment. Caleb was an active little bugger so he was strapped into a stroller for my appointment. Everything looked good and my doctor was about to leave the room when I mentioned to him that I had been having some cramping, was that normal? He decided to check me to be sure everything was fine. It was then that I saw my cool, calm, old doctor turn a few shades of white.
He said very little but this, "You ready to have this baby today?" Me, looking at my 18 month old "Ummm, no. Not really." Him: "Well, you better get ready, it's about to happen." Then he WALKS OUT OF THE ROOM!!! Who does that?!!!!
So I was thinking it must be good right? My water must have broken and I didn't even know it. Then the nurse came in and took me to an ultrasound (caleb in tow). When my doctor showed up at my bedside I figured out something ain't normal! He sent me out to the waiting room (note to OB doctors- DON'T DO THAT!!!)
And after what seemed like forever he called me in his office and asked me to get Jim on the phone. I could hear the beeping of the Grady OR in the background as he answered. My doctor then went on to explain that when he examined me he felt 2 feet, an umbilical cord wrapped around them and I was already dilated 2.5 cm, oh and my water was about to break. We were headed to a c-section!
So I pushed the stroller over to the hospital wondering the whole time if this baby was going to fall out of me any minute! I checked myself in. And when the nurse looked down at Caleb I just told her. "We need crackers...LOTS of crackers!"
Thank goodness Jim's brother David showed up and took Caleb. Shortly after that Jim showed up. And then I had time to process it! They were going to cut me open! I was going to meet my baby today! And I don't even have my camera...for some reason that was what made the tears start falling. (later my wonderful friends showed up with my camera- and all was well again)
One of Jim's friends came and did my epidural, which was nice because every now and then I would have a contraction that would really hurt. But poor, sweet Jim. He was a mess! He spent all his time in the OR- he is as comfortable there as in our own living room...but not today! He had worry written all over his face. When we got in the OR I was really kind of worried about him. He didn't know how to just sit in the OR. He was used to doing. Then I got to scared to worry about him anymore...he was on his own.
The c-section was quick. But they had quite the time pulling our little one out. Apparently she had been lodged feet first for quite a while (looking back now I remember one night that I woke up with a terribly sharp pain and then went back to sleep).
And I still remember Jim's sweet words: "I got my girl!"
My first thought was, "I knew it was a girl, with all this drama!"
She was precious and perfect. Even her little feet that were turned inward because of the position they had been in for so long. The nurses there made her a hat with a big obnoxious bow on it. She was girly from the get go!
I could fill pages and pages with how I adore this girl! She is easy to love. She teaches me daily how to be more of a servant and to give more. She sees the good in everyone and is as fragile as a flower petal. She breaks so easy! But she wants to seem tough.
She adores her Daddy! And he has been wrapped around her finger since he first laid eyes on her. She's the kind of girl you want to hide away so the world can't get to her. I want to keep her just as innocent as she is right now. She will have her heart broken a thousand times...and rush right in to put it on the line again and again.
I know because I am this little girl. When I look at her I see me. The me that would've been if my parents hadn't gotten divorced.
She is the person I am trying to get back to everyday.