Wednesday, May 25, 2011

from G's journal 2-21-09 (adoption story part 6)

Hope you aren't sick of this yet! If you need to catch up you can here. I have been so anxious to get to the part when we talk about the girls! And we are finally here! This is the end of a letter I wrote to Gianna in Feb of 09. The picture are from their first visit to our house on January 12, 2009. Hope you enjoy!

"...The next day I sat down to call your Grammy and flipped the page on my new verse a day thing and the verse for that day was Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

God kept giving me little tangible things to hold on to that He was with me and not to be afraid! I spent over an hour talking to your Grammy about your history and your personality.

We started praying for you guys with Caleb and Emma. We prayed that God would send you a family. Over the next few weeks I was a flood of emotions. I was scared and excited, overwhelmed and humbled. I got excited thinking of how our family might change and then would get sad thinking of it not being the 5 of us. Similar to how I felt right before each of the children were born.

Every time I saw you or Audrey I would wait expectantly for fireworks to go off or to feel a bond. But that didn't happen. The closest thing was our first real interaction. Grammy got you out of your class and I had gone down the hall and was returning and you ran up to me to show me your craft. My heart melted.

Soon after that we had a play date at your Grammies. I was a little nervous. I knew your Grammy would be watching our interaction. Would it be weird? What if my kids acted up? It wasn't weird at all, it was very comfortable.

After that you guys came to our house with Grammy and we played. It was feeling more real. I felt like God had confirmed it to me but I wasn't real sure how your Grammy felt.

Soon after on a day you guys had been with us, your Grammy teared up as she asked me if I felt like I knew if this was really what we wanted. I said absolutely and I think we both were relieved.

God kept giving me little things to hold on to. One of them was a quote in a book: "God will never lead you where His strength cannot keep you." Barbara Johnson

A few hours ago I took you home to your Grammies. I look forward to the day when you will stay here. It may only be for a season or it may be forever, we will have to wait and see. Our prayer is that your Mother will turn her life around and surrender herself to God.

There is a court hearing Thur regarding you and Audrey. We will know then about when you will be with us. I'm still anxious about some of it. Like how am I going to train each of your hearts? Will everyone have enough attention? Will you and Emma be good friends or fight constantly like you do now? Will Caleb, Emma and Luke resent us? Will you guys feel loved? But God has shown Himself in a mighty way. And I trust Him completely to see us through this.

I love you and my prayer for you is that you know how much God adores you! I pray you know who you are in Him!

Emma's Mommy"

1 comment:

Ten Beautiful Years said...

Beautiful family!!!!!

Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jer 29:11 is one verse it has been my complete joy to share with youngsters as they look towards their future!

Imagine my complete and utter joy when God echoed it in my heart as a new "empty-nester" God's promise of a hope and a future stands for me too!!!

Being Mommy is an amazing blessing!!!!! And God has awesome plans, a hope and a future, even after the work of raising the young'uns is done!!!!!